I thought when I get out of this darkness I would be purified.

I was brought up with such beliefs as judgment and retribution, but none of these were of any importance to me at that time since my intentions were always to reach God.

I had absolute trust in God whether in darkness or light. This was a new experience for me but it did not take me long to reach the conclusion that this, too, was from God.

I had fully placed my trust in God.

I started to walk towards the darkness. I felt I was moving towards something that was going to crush me to pieces. Despite this fear, one step at a time, I kept going. I drew my strength from my absolute belief that even in this state God was showing me His immense love. By being crushed under this darkness it would allow me to reach God. Such consolation gave me strength to take the next step forward.

With every step, that total blackness became a lighter shade of darkness. As I took a few more steps forward, I reached a grey area and then eventually it became white. As I moved on, the whiteness turned to light until I came across the same light, which I normally experienced when meditating.

In the presence of such light, I totally forgot about that darkness and was totally immersed in light. I felt like a male peacock displaying its magnificent plumage as if courting his mate. I was happy and elated to be back in the light.

I was consumed by it.

As I continued forward, I saw beams of light crossing each other and creating rainbows around me. Then I noticed that all this display of light was emanating from one point. This light had a source and I was being led to the source of this magical light.

Suddenly, I found myself standing in front of what appeared to be a spaceship but it was pulsating with life and in the shape of a human brain. It was brimming with intelligence and life force. It was like the main source of human knowledge.

My first recollection was the total absence of colour.
The atmosphere was covered in a mist, which seemed like a white but moving space.
This atmosphere was like clouds but with particles moving in harmony and creating form. As I moved through it, I could no longer see it even though I was surrounded by it.

I then heard the voice in my head calling my name,

"Mansour, do you know where you are standing?"

"It feels familiar but I don't know." I responded.